What is your job as a doctor? Is it to know anatomy, biochemistry, pathology and pharmacology? Sure. However, it is more than just that, we share a very unique burden with law enforcement and other emergency personnel. Except for a small number of specialties, you will often be treating patients when they are very ill. It is our job to treat a whole person; part of that burden is treating their emotions. Unfortunately, when you are dealing with the most painful aspects of the human condition it is hard not to let it affect you personally.
Medical school attracts highly motivated, type A personalities who are used to being a person who is depended upon. Medical training also seems to impress upon students a somewhat casual approach to death and pain, beginning with cadaver dissection and moving on through clinical rotations. During the clinical years a student or resident can feel like showing any perceived weakness might hurt their grade or change how they are viewed by their mentors. Much of this problem comes from pride; the culture of physicians includes the ability to be a casual observer of these most difficult parts of life.
Home life may not be much improvement, especially if one does not have a good support system or someone else who can empathize at home. Often times it is even suggested to emergency responders not to “bring work home” with them. So imagine this scenario: you have just worked a twelve hour shift of dealing with other people’s pain, you know you have no one you can talk to about it and you know that when you leave work you have people who are depending on you to complete your responsibilities at home; it is easy to see why there is such a high prevalence of drug and alcohol abuse amongst physicians and other emergency personnel.
It is incredibly important, in my opinion, to learn early in a career how to debrief effectively. It is inevitable that at some point you will see a patient that will trouble you. They will remind you of your mother, your children, a painful situation in your past, or you may have a patient die and feel like it was your fault; something will get into your head. It is our job to be able to compartmentalize our emotions to effectively take care of our job and treat the patient at that moment. However, leaving your emotions compartmentalized will effect all of your personal relationships and in the long run is detrimental to your entire life and leads to burnout.
So who rescues the rescuers? We all do, it is our responsibility as a community to be able to recognize the signs of someone having a difficult time and to be available for them. It is our job to support the members of our teams and realize that everyone will eventually have a problem like this. It is also our job to be open enough to recognize these feelings in ourselves and seek out help instead of letting them fester because we are no use to anyone if we are broken.
“Physician, help yourself: thus you help your patient too” – Nietzsche
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Saturday, September 5, 2009
P = M.D.
So, first Anatomy exam in the books. Not great but also not bad. I passed and with a little cushion even, and I now know what to expect from my professors. Also, the way I graded myself may have been harsher than what the professors might, according to one of my TAs.
But I have to go back to the books because we have our second exam (Biochemistry) on Tuesday.
Back to it!
But I have to go back to the books because we have our second exam (Biochemistry) on Tuesday.
Back to it!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Med School, Part I
Alright. So. Things have been a little crazy over here at la casa del oso since I started medical school. I have learned alot of things already including but not limited to: 1. Anatomy is less scary than my brain made it out to be. 2. People are weird, including professors. 3. Even the most asinine-seeming lectures can turn out to be really awesome 4. Smelling like dead people sucks 5. Being around smart people again is REALLY nice. 6. Anatomy lab makes everyone hungry, which is upsetting. 7. When people compare any part of anatomy lab to food, it becomes difficult to eat that food (i.e. one of my lab partners thinks that bone saws smell like Doritos) 8. The people you least expect can make you smile when you aren't prepared. For example:
We were given a lecture on loss prevention from our head security officer, who told us in his very best Chris Rock voice:
"That one high heeled shoe you have in the back of your car, it might not be important to you...but it's important to a crackhead.
The sweater you keep in the back seat of your car, might not be important to you...but it's important to a crackhead."
But now i have to go put on my pajamas and go visit some dead people
We were given a lecture on loss prevention from our head security officer, who told us in his very best Chris Rock voice:
"That one high heeled shoe you have in the back of your car, it might not be important to you...but it's important to a crackhead.
The sweater you keep in the back seat of your car, might not be important to you...but it's important to a crackhead."
But now i have to go put on my pajamas and go visit some dead people
Monday, July 20, 2009
Discussion Question
In honor of the moon landing anniversary, i pose a discussion question. When you were younger and learning about (or witnessing, for our older viewers) the lunar landing what did you think life would be like in 2010? Has life lived up to your expectations or are you still pissed off about not having a flying car?
In honor of 40 years
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In honor of the brave men who traveled all those miles to prove that ours is bigger.
Thanks to the people at Cake Wrecks
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
How very cool
Spear-wielding chimps snack on skewered bushbabies
17:00 22 February 2007 by Rowan Hooper
For similar stories, visit the Human Evolution Topic Guide
In a revelation that destroys yet another cherished notion of human uniqueness, wild chimpanzees have been seen living in caves and hunting bushbabies with spears. It is the first time an animal has been seen using a tool to hunt a vertebrate.
Many chimpanzees trim twigs to use for ant-dipping and termite-fishing. But a population of savannah chimps (Pan troglodytes verus) living in the Fongoli area of south-east Senegal have been seen making spears from strong sticks that they sharpen with their teeth. The average spear length is 63 centimetres (25 inches), says Jill Pruetz at Iowa State University in Ames, US, who observed the behaviour with Paco Bertolani, of the University of Cambridge, UK.
And the method of procuring food with these tools is not simply extractive, as it is when harvesting insects. It is far more aggressive. They use the spears to hunt one of the cutest primates in Africa: bushbabies (Galago senegalensis).
Bushbabies are nocturnal and curl up in hollows in trees during the day. If disturbed during their slumbers - if their nest cavity is broken open, for example - they rapidly scamper away. It appears that the chimps have learnt a grisly method of slowing them down.
Take a look at the chimps in action, in these three videos
Cave life
Chimps were observed thrusting their spears into hollow trunks and branches with enough force to injure anything inside the holes, Pruetz's research team says. The chimps used a "power grip" and made multiple downward stabs - much the same way as a human might wield a dagger.
Ten different chimps in the population were observed to perform this behaviour in 22 bouts. In one case the researchers saw a chimp remove a dead bush baby and eat it. Here is the chimp enjoying his grisly meal, and cleaning his small spear (5MB, Requires QuickTime).
And, in what is thought to be another first for chimps, the Fongoli population have taken up aspects of cave living. They use the the shady interiors for socialising, taking siestas and picnicking, the researchers say. Pruetz jokes that she would not be surprised if the chimps began making cave drawings.
The Fongoli chimps inhabit a mosaic savannah - patches of grass and woodland - where there are no red colobus monkeys. The absence of these monkeys, which are the favoured prey of several other chimp populations, may explain the Fongoli chimps' unique spear-hunting behaviour.
"Given the lack of opportunity, Fongoli chimps have come up with a way to get around the problem of how to get protein in their particular environment...using tools to hunt," says Pruetz.
Secret snacks
Intriguingly, the behaviour is mostly confined to females and immature chimps. Adults hunt and eat green monkeys, but males have priority over access to the meat. Pruetz suggests that Fongoli juveniles and females get around this by exploiting a niche that is relatively ignored by adult males - and spearing little bushbaby snacks for themselves.
"Immatures and females are innovative in solving the problem of feeding competition," she says.
Chimps regularly seem to be discovered doing things once thought unique to humans (see Stone Age chimps were handy with a hammer). "Back to the drawing board again in terms of trying to define how humans are special," says Pruetz.
Journal reference: Current Biology, DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2006.12.042
17:00 22 February 2007 by Rowan Hooper
For similar stories, visit the Human Evolution Topic Guide
In a revelation that destroys yet another cherished notion of human uniqueness, wild chimpanzees have been seen living in caves and hunting bushbabies with spears. It is the first time an animal has been seen using a tool to hunt a vertebrate.
Many chimpanzees trim twigs to use for ant-dipping and termite-fishing. But a population of savannah chimps (Pan troglodytes verus) living in the Fongoli area of south-east Senegal have been seen making spears from strong sticks that they sharpen with their teeth. The average spear length is 63 centimetres (25 inches), says Jill Pruetz at Iowa State University in Ames, US, who observed the behaviour with Paco Bertolani, of the University of Cambridge, UK.
And the method of procuring food with these tools is not simply extractive, as it is when harvesting insects. It is far more aggressive. They use the spears to hunt one of the cutest primates in Africa: bushbabies (Galago senegalensis).
Bushbabies are nocturnal and curl up in hollows in trees during the day. If disturbed during their slumbers - if their nest cavity is broken open, for example - they rapidly scamper away. It appears that the chimps have learnt a grisly method of slowing them down.
Take a look at the chimps in action, in these three videos
Cave life
Chimps were observed thrusting their spears into hollow trunks and branches with enough force to injure anything inside the holes, Pruetz's research team says. The chimps used a "power grip" and made multiple downward stabs - much the same way as a human might wield a dagger.
Ten different chimps in the population were observed to perform this behaviour in 22 bouts. In one case the researchers saw a chimp remove a dead bush baby and eat it. Here is the chimp enjoying his grisly meal, and cleaning his small spear (5MB, Requires QuickTime).
And, in what is thought to be another first for chimps, the Fongoli population have taken up aspects of cave living. They use the the shady interiors for socialising, taking siestas and picnicking, the researchers say. Pruetz jokes that she would not be surprised if the chimps began making cave drawings.
The Fongoli chimps inhabit a mosaic savannah - patches of grass and woodland - where there are no red colobus monkeys. The absence of these monkeys, which are the favoured prey of several other chimp populations, may explain the Fongoli chimps' unique spear-hunting behaviour.
"Given the lack of opportunity, Fongoli chimps have come up with a way to get around the problem of how to get protein in their particular environment...using tools to hunt," says Pruetz.
Secret snacks
Intriguingly, the behaviour is mostly confined to females and immature chimps. Adults hunt and eat green monkeys, but males have priority over access to the meat. Pruetz suggests that Fongoli juveniles and females get around this by exploiting a niche that is relatively ignored by adult males - and spearing little bushbaby snacks for themselves.
"Immatures and females are innovative in solving the problem of feeding competition," she says.
Chimps regularly seem to be discovered doing things once thought unique to humans (see Stone Age chimps were handy with a hammer). "Back to the drawing board again in terms of trying to define how humans are special," says Pruetz.
Journal reference: Current Biology, DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2006.12.042
Saturday, July 4, 2009
We got married!
Two months ago, kevin and I threw a party for his graduation. When everyone got there they were surprised to find out that we were getting married. We had the wedding in my lovely sister and brother-in-laws back yard (which was awesome by the way guys thanks). We got to see everyone and celebrate with all the people we love. It was awesome. Here are the first pictures that have been edited. Our wedding was officiated by the Rev. Dr. Ted, which was so much fun and so awesome to have someone important to us who we love as our officiant. All in all, i think it was perfect. Thanks to everyone who helped out!
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Thursday, April 2, 2009
Update!
Just wanted to give you guys a quick peek into what Kevin has been doing. He is (as most of you know) a month away from finishing the fire academy. As a special treat for putting up with all of them the captains allowed friends and family to go and watch the boys during their first night time burn simulation in the burn building. I got some pretty cool pictures if i do say so myself. Here they are. 100th post coming soon!
This is a survivor
This is a survivor
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A letter to my boss
Dude, i know that you feel sorry for yourself because you never amounted to anything. I understand that you feel the need to exert your modicum of power every chance you get because work is the only place you get to show it but really, be human. Don't bully people into working when they really can't. Don't make underhanded comments that are offensive and then get pissed off when people call you out on it. No, doctors are not glorified-college-graduates who can sew. I understand it was a joke but once you push peoples buttons long enough it stops being funny. Ohh and really, you shouldn't snicker under your breath and make snide remarks when there is a huge shipment that i have to stock. Yeah it's funny that you don't have to do it yourself but you know what, at least i still can lift these boxes. Is that the reason you don't offer to help with the heavy ones? Cause you cant?
Ohh and little prissy boy. Really, our job is NOT hard. Why does it take you 3 hours to do a job that takes me 30 minutes? Why do you feel like you are better than everyone else? You are not special! Ohh and really, no one cares that you broke up with your boyfriend this week or that you dropped out of law school to pursue your "dream" which you have since not been able to identify.
And to the stupid people who i encounter every day....screw you. Why would you call FedEx to come pick up a package at our office when you AREN'T here yet? Why do you stay after closing time every night when you know full well what time we close, you aren't dumb (at least in theory). Why would you come to the office and do things that don't count as work (surf the internet, leave and get coffee) and expect me to say you were here?
If everyone could just leave me alone today, it would be great. kthxbye
Ohh and little prissy boy. Really, our job is NOT hard. Why does it take you 3 hours to do a job that takes me 30 minutes? Why do you feel like you are better than everyone else? You are not special! Ohh and really, no one cares that you broke up with your boyfriend this week or that you dropped out of law school to pursue your "dream" which you have since not been able to identify.
And to the stupid people who i encounter every day....screw you. Why would you call FedEx to come pick up a package at our office when you AREN'T here yet? Why do you stay after closing time every night when you know full well what time we close, you aren't dumb (at least in theory). Why would you come to the office and do things that don't count as work (surf the internet, leave and get coffee) and expect me to say you were here?
If everyone could just leave me alone today, it would be great. kthxbye
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Not to be bitchy but....
Have you seen the movie Idiocracy? It was worth seeing once, the premise is that 1000 years from now the planet is filled with really dumb people because all the smart people put off having babies for their careers or only have 1 or 2 children, while the dumb people replicate like rabbits therefore diluting the gene pool.
I can't help but think of that movie in the last two weeks with the story of the octuplets that have been born. Now don't get me wrong, i like babies. I encourage people to have children, even multiple children. But how is it responsible to have 14 babies in 6 different pregnancies when you are living out of your mother's house, without income? How is it that people i know who CHOOSE not to have children because they know it's not the right thing for them to do have people looking down their noses at them while this idiot and people in similar situations like the Duggar family (who granted have spaced their 18 children out and have enough income to stay afloat without the government) get their own tv shows and hours of news media attention?
And what doctor in his right mind would implant 6 embryos at once, i understand the necessity to implant more than one, really i get it, IVF fails in most cases but if you were a doctor who had done 5 other IVF procedures on this woman which produced 6 children, why would you risk implanting 6 embryos knowing full well there was a possibility that they could all take?
The guy i feel the worst for in this situation though is the poor schmuck that donated his sperm when this chick asked him 8 years ago for him to help her have A child. I bet he is shitting his pants knowing that now he has 14 biological children with a mother with no means of income. Poor dude.
Anyway, enough bitching for now, happy monday!
I can't help but think of that movie in the last two weeks with the story of the octuplets that have been born. Now don't get me wrong, i like babies. I encourage people to have children, even multiple children. But how is it responsible to have 14 babies in 6 different pregnancies when you are living out of your mother's house, without income? How is it that people i know who CHOOSE not to have children because they know it's not the right thing for them to do have people looking down their noses at them while this idiot and people in similar situations like the Duggar family (who granted have spaced their 18 children out and have enough income to stay afloat without the government) get their own tv shows and hours of news media attention?
And what doctor in his right mind would implant 6 embryos at once, i understand the necessity to implant more than one, really i get it, IVF fails in most cases but if you were a doctor who had done 5 other IVF procedures on this woman which produced 6 children, why would you risk implanting 6 embryos knowing full well there was a possibility that they could all take?
The guy i feel the worst for in this situation though is the poor schmuck that donated his sperm when this chick asked him 8 years ago for him to help her have A child. I bet he is shitting his pants knowing that now he has 14 biological children with a mother with no means of income. Poor dude.
Anyway, enough bitching for now, happy monday!
Monday, February 2, 2009
I know, I know
So i have been conspicuously absent from my blog recently. Partially because i haven't had anything interesting to write about and partially because i have exactly zero time. So i guess it's update time. DH and I are both doing well, if very busy. As of today DH has started his fourth week in the fire academy. It is kicking his butt but he seems to be enjoying the process and the brotherhood. I have been working ALOT but it's about to get worse. As it stands DH has to leave the house by about 5:30 or 5:45 to get out to the academy on time. For those of you who know me, I don't exist that early in the day. This schedule also means that he is in bed by 8:00 like an old man. Therefore, depending on my schedule at work i get to see him for a couple of hours over dinner or not at all. This are going to begin to get interesting as well this month because along with the ACT class I am teaching at the local-can't-pull-our-heads-out-of-our-asses-high-school. I am also going to begin to drive an hour down to bumfuck to teach an MCAT class two nights a week from 6-9 at my alma mater.
Anyway, enough with the bitching. Last night held a welcome respite from all of this back and forth working and scheduling. We went to DH's fire recruit class Super Bowl Party. We had a blast. I got to meet many of the men he's been working with and I liked all of them. Which was great seeing as how recently i've grown tired of the immaturity of DH's friends. These boys had exactly the right amount of immaturity and boy were they funny. I even got some really great pictures of the festivities.
DH and the boys pigging out before the party even starts
The boy's posing to see who is prettiest.
Tailgaiting, litteraly!
All the boys at the end of the night
Anyway, enough with the bitching. Last night held a welcome respite from all of this back and forth working and scheduling. We went to DH's fire recruit class Super Bowl Party. We had a blast. I got to meet many of the men he's been working with and I liked all of them. Which was great seeing as how recently i've grown tired of the immaturity of DH's friends. These boys had exactly the right amount of immaturity and boy were they funny. I even got some really great pictures of the festivities.
DH and the boys pigging out before the party even starts
The boy's posing to see who is prettiest.
Tailgaiting, litteraly!
All the boys at the end of the night
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
I love this dude
And for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last year, the original
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Guest Blog by El Oso
Overtime it seems many people have forgotten the most important ingredient to a good gaming experience - the good game.
And by good game I don't mean shader effects, high polygon counts, compelling story lines or any of the other irrelevant nonsense that I don't give a submarining fuck about. I mean the actual game play. The part where you control stuff have it interact with other stuff and your brain generates fun. If i wanted a compelling story, I'd read a book. There are only a few million already in existence, the majority of which are written by people whose talents compare to the best video game writer's the same way Kobe Bryant's penis might compare to that of an poorly endowed tit mouse. If 90 minutes of cut scenes dubed with pornography grade voice acting sounds exciting to you I suggest you immediately navigate your web browser to the local torrent site and download something called a movie. Any one really since apparently you are easily satisfied.
Perhaps i romanticize about the past here but I remember a time when most games were about being challenged to explore new game play mechanics. About learning and solving new puzzles about employing your skills against all types of adversary and about feeling proud of your accomplishments.
Now the mostly shiny particle effected vessels guiding any soccer mom caliber gamer through a generally third grade level story where anyone with a brain the size of a steroid shrunken testicle can pretend to be a hero and maintain a fantasy of not sucking balls at video games.
"But...But I need a background story"...do you really need a background story to play Donkey Kong - you twat?? How about poker or football? If the process of playing a game isn't fun for you - maybe you're not a gamer. Not that i am unappreciative for all my free kills in WoW. But lately I've become rather miffed at the notion, that this overwhelming number of noobs has negatively influenced the direction of video game design forever. Instead of humanity persuing the development of the next chess we have an endless supply of 8 hour long interactive B-movie experiences at $60 a pop with unimaginative reskinned sequals announced exactly 3 seconds after the current product is launched.
Congratulations Noobs you've effectively raised an army of consumer gaming zombies who conviently seem to lack no only artistic standards but opposable thumbs. I'd be inclined to look the other way and ignore the thumbless zombie parade but the bummbling whiners have the audacity to hate on us - the gamers that are playing the game for game play. But the truth is the only imbalance is coming from your underdeveloped inner ear you uncoordinated ball of ghey. I'm truly sorry you got your clumsy ass kicked around in gym class like a hacky sack in the 1980's But that's no reason to be a sandy crotch while I'm kicking your ass in Super Smash Brothers. Even more infurinating than the consumer zombie noobs are the noobs whose job it is to play video games then criticize them for mass public consumption.
The champions of mob mentality shouldn't bother me since i've grown rather accustomed to unqualified nitwits performing undeserved jobs.
Within gaming media circles being a noob seems to have become some sort of fucking prerequisite. I know going through life with a lack of a pinch grip may be frustrating but calling a 3 hour single player experience the hight of game design and comparing the dialoge of GTA4 to that of the godfather is nothing less than absolutely retarded.
Here is the unpleasent truth. Your teachers lied to you when they said any one, even you, could be an astronaut. Some people are just naturally better at doing things. There IS something called talent. No matter how hard i try I'll never paint a Mona Lisa or invent the quantum computer. No matter how hard you try you'll never beat Contra without cheating. Many people have a genuine desire to be better this doesn't make them alien or crude it just makes them a gamer. It's no reason to resent them at least no more than you resent John Holmes for his enormous cock.
So the next time you think "I can beat all the pro gamers if I just played as much as them" -Think again. All the basket ball training in the world won't let your pudgy 5''4' dimpled bottom make the NBA. Just like all the Starcraft training in the world couldn't prevent Park Sung-Joon from sticking his golden mouse up your ass.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Welcome to History
Thank you America! FOX news has even called it. Welcome to the future.
Dear Mr. President-Elect:
Thank you, you have made history. Please, please, realize how big a deal this and please don't let us down.
Thank you,
America
Dear Mr. President-Elect:
Thank you, you have made history. Please, please, realize how big a deal this and please don't let us down.
Thank you,
America
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Worst.Night.EVER
I have just had the worst.night.ever. The fact that it was a holiday just adds to the character of an otherwise lousy week. It amazes me that a night meant as a fun night to goof off became so sucky.
The night went something like this:
We started the day with Kevin getting the house ready for trick-or-treaters, he loves halloween and was excited that we would finally have some. During his preparations he threw out his back. GREAT! so after a foray downtown to score him some muscle relaxers (from a doc, don't worry) we dosed him up and decided to go out to party anyway. So we get dressed, Kevin as a firefighter (including fake soot around his nose) and me as little red riding hood. After being stood up by our first plans we called and made secondary plans with another set of friends. Okay, cool no big deal. So the plan was to go down to Frenchman street. Which, for those of you out of towners, is near the french quarter but not in the quarter "proper" so the logic was that it would be less crowded (boy did that turn out to false logic). So we pack up and head out to meet our friends. We pick them up from their house, and drive down to frenchman. On the way we encounter ALL the traffic, apparently the cops thought it would be a good idea to close the quarter to vehicles, so after about a half an hour of creative driving on Kevin's part we get to frenchman. Where we find A PARKING SPACE!!! holy cow, ON Frenchman. Only problem is that there are 5 women standing in the parking space. After asking them nicely to move they told us to shove it up our asses that their husbands' are bringing the car around and are in fact 3 cars behind us and that they "aren't going anywhere and are prepared to stand there all night" We proceed to have a 15 minute stand-off (insert Kevin's spanish machismo) at which point the police get involved and make the women move because they are stopping traffic.
So at this point we are where we want to be with these friends. Turns out that they have pre-gamed it pretty hard. So they are pretty drunk already and I'm sure everyone reading this knows what it feels like to be the sober person in a group of drunk people, not too much fun. So after walking around for a while trying to find a bar that wasn't charging a $20 cover to go use their bathroom, we decided that we are going to go to the quarter proper because at least you can walk up to the bars and order from the street.
As we make the 10-15 block trek down to Burbon we get asked at least once a block by the drunks 1. if there is a place to stop and pee (there isn't legally) and 2. Where we were going.
Once we made it to Burbon, Kevin and I decided to peel off of the group and go get handgrenades which were approximately 2 blocks in the opposite direction from the desired destination of the other people in our party. We told them, "we'll meet you back at XYZ bar we're going to go get drinks".
We go and order our drinks and have approximately 5 whole minutes of calm fun. Then the shit really hit the fan.
When we got back to bar XYZ no one is anywhere to be found. Mind you while we were on frenchman i gave one of our friends my phone to hold in his pocket because i had exactly zero pockets in my outfit. So when we get back to the bar and our friend is no where to be found we call him to ask him where everyone is and he says "I'm done I'm going home." well while Kevin is trying to negotiate the release of my phone and the other hostages I spot this friend's girlfriend walking briskly from the bar CRYING. When i stop her to ask what is going on she says that her boyfriend got separated from the group, and as his side of the story goes "well i walked into the bar, looked around and no one was there so i went home." LEAVING HIS GIRLFRIEND ON BURBON STREET WITHOUT A RIDE HOME! After much screaming and nashing of teeth on my part we establish that he got frustrated and caught a ride home with some friendly strangers/ friends that he knew/ something of that nature. So now we are trying to calm his girlfriend down.
After finally chasing down (literally running down burbon in my heels) and convincing her that she needed to come with us, which took alot more time that it would normally have because talking to a drunk distraught woman is difficult. We decided to bring her home.
Another 15 block walk back to the car, and on the way my graceful ass takes a nosedive. I ripped both of the pairs of stockings i was wearing, not to mention the shit out of my knees, on our LOVELY CLEAN french quarter streets.
Once we got to the car another adventure began. We had to extracate our car from what had become a seething mass of people. Frechman street had become more crowded than Burbon, by far. After 20 minutes of inching down the streets with Kevin's fireman lights and airhorn blaring (with drunk idiots literally leaning on our car while it was rolling) we finally were released from the hell hole. But the night wasn't over just yet.
We decided to go to IHOP to have a cup of coffee and try to comfort our friend. So we go and spend probably a good 45 minutes toward the end of which our friend is crying because she is upset about the events of the night. At one point the people at the next table look over and ask to make sure she's okay and even suggest that she shouldn't put so much energy into a boy. We continue to talk and try to comfort her for another 5 minutes or so. At which point another member (a grown ass man, i might add) of the table next to us yells out "SHE DIDN'T GET ANY CANDY, THAT'S WHY SHE'S CRYING" and starts cackiling because he thinks he's clever. At which point i turn around and remark on how grown up and adult that comment was (hey it was 3 am what do you want?) At which point his girlfriend a rather large woman starts to tell me how i should shut my mouth and how she could beat me up etc etc etc. As Kevin begins to get really angry he looks at me and says "Man they are being such..." and I looked at this woman and said "You're right hunnie they are being assholes" and we began to pick up our belongings and walk toward the door. As we are walking past she remarks on how she should kick my ass for calling them assholes and looks at me and says "...and you are pretty big" at which point i looked at her and said "you mean kinda like you?" Which let me tell you went over really well!
Anyway, as much as i wish i could have actually come back with something creative and better than "i know you are but what am i" it was 3:30 in the morning and i'd had a fucked up night.
So it is now 5:45 in the morning and I have to be to work at 9:45am. Man, my life ROCKS. So here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day!
The night went something like this:
We started the day with Kevin getting the house ready for trick-or-treaters, he loves halloween and was excited that we would finally have some. During his preparations he threw out his back. GREAT! so after a foray downtown to score him some muscle relaxers (from a doc, don't worry) we dosed him up and decided to go out to party anyway. So we get dressed, Kevin as a firefighter (including fake soot around his nose) and me as little red riding hood. After being stood up by our first plans we called and made secondary plans with another set of friends. Okay, cool no big deal. So the plan was to go down to Frenchman street. Which, for those of you out of towners, is near the french quarter but not in the quarter "proper" so the logic was that it would be less crowded (boy did that turn out to false logic). So we pack up and head out to meet our friends. We pick them up from their house, and drive down to frenchman. On the way we encounter ALL the traffic, apparently the cops thought it would be a good idea to close the quarter to vehicles, so after about a half an hour of creative driving on Kevin's part we get to frenchman. Where we find A PARKING SPACE!!! holy cow, ON Frenchman. Only problem is that there are 5 women standing in the parking space. After asking them nicely to move they told us to shove it up our asses that their husbands' are bringing the car around and are in fact 3 cars behind us and that they "aren't going anywhere and are prepared to stand there all night" We proceed to have a 15 minute stand-off (insert Kevin's spanish machismo) at which point the police get involved and make the women move because they are stopping traffic.
So at this point we are where we want to be with these friends. Turns out that they have pre-gamed it pretty hard. So they are pretty drunk already and I'm sure everyone reading this knows what it feels like to be the sober person in a group of drunk people, not too much fun. So after walking around for a while trying to find a bar that wasn't charging a $20 cover to go use their bathroom, we decided that we are going to go to the quarter proper because at least you can walk up to the bars and order from the street.
As we make the 10-15 block trek down to Burbon we get asked at least once a block by the drunks 1. if there is a place to stop and pee (there isn't legally) and 2. Where we were going.
Once we made it to Burbon, Kevin and I decided to peel off of the group and go get handgrenades which were approximately 2 blocks in the opposite direction from the desired destination of the other people in our party. We told them, "we'll meet you back at XYZ bar we're going to go get drinks".
We go and order our drinks and have approximately 5 whole minutes of calm fun. Then the shit really hit the fan.
When we got back to bar XYZ no one is anywhere to be found. Mind you while we were on frenchman i gave one of our friends my phone to hold in his pocket because i had exactly zero pockets in my outfit. So when we get back to the bar and our friend is no where to be found we call him to ask him where everyone is and he says "I'm done I'm going home." well while Kevin is trying to negotiate the release of my phone and the other hostages I spot this friend's girlfriend walking briskly from the bar CRYING. When i stop her to ask what is going on she says that her boyfriend got separated from the group, and as his side of the story goes "well i walked into the bar, looked around and no one was there so i went home." LEAVING HIS GIRLFRIEND ON BURBON STREET WITHOUT A RIDE HOME! After much screaming and nashing of teeth on my part we establish that he got frustrated and caught a ride home with some friendly strangers/ friends that he knew/ something of that nature. So now we are trying to calm his girlfriend down.
After finally chasing down (literally running down burbon in my heels) and convincing her that she needed to come with us, which took alot more time that it would normally have because talking to a drunk distraught woman is difficult. We decided to bring her home.
Another 15 block walk back to the car, and on the way my graceful ass takes a nosedive. I ripped both of the pairs of stockings i was wearing, not to mention the shit out of my knees, on our LOVELY CLEAN french quarter streets.
Once we got to the car another adventure began. We had to extracate our car from what had become a seething mass of people. Frechman street had become more crowded than Burbon, by far. After 20 minutes of inching down the streets with Kevin's fireman lights and airhorn blaring (with drunk idiots literally leaning on our car while it was rolling) we finally were released from the hell hole. But the night wasn't over just yet.
We decided to go to IHOP to have a cup of coffee and try to comfort our friend. So we go and spend probably a good 45 minutes toward the end of which our friend is crying because she is upset about the events of the night. At one point the people at the next table look over and ask to make sure she's okay and even suggest that she shouldn't put so much energy into a boy. We continue to talk and try to comfort her for another 5 minutes or so. At which point another member (a grown ass man, i might add) of the table next to us yells out "SHE DIDN'T GET ANY CANDY, THAT'S WHY SHE'S CRYING" and starts cackiling because he thinks he's clever. At which point i turn around and remark on how grown up and adult that comment was (hey it was 3 am what do you want?) At which point his girlfriend a rather large woman starts to tell me how i should shut my mouth and how she could beat me up etc etc etc. As Kevin begins to get really angry he looks at me and says "Man they are being such..." and I looked at this woman and said "You're right hunnie they are being assholes" and we began to pick up our belongings and walk toward the door. As we are walking past she remarks on how she should kick my ass for calling them assholes and looks at me and says "...and you are
Anyway, as much as i wish i could have actually come back with something creative and better than "i know you are but what am i" it was 3:30 in the morning and i'd had a fucked up night.
So it is now 5:45 in the morning and I have to be to work at 9:45am. Man, my life ROCKS. So here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Dear Technical Support
Dear Technical Support Lackey-
When i called you to tell you that I had a virus on my office computer you were perfectly kind and understanding, thank you for that. However, when you told me that i needed to reimage the hard drive and that you were sending me the disks to do so, it was UNFAIR to send me three disks when only 2 of them were going to function. I have now BRICKED my office computer and my boss is SO happy, so thanks.
Kindly,
LongStory
When i called you to tell you that I had a virus on my office computer you were perfectly kind and understanding, thank you for that. However, when you told me that i needed to reimage the hard drive and that you were sending me the disks to do so, it was UNFAIR to send me three disks when only 2 of them were going to function. I have now BRICKED my office computer and my boss is SO happy, so thanks.
Kindly,
LongStory
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